Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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