I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
