Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
