I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
