What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
