Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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