Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
