I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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