Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
