Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
