yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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