so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
