I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
