And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
