we have pet lesbian snakes
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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