He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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