so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
