Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
