I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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