i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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