i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
