you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
