I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
