Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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