I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
