wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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