Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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