I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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