I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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