Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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