I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
