Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
