She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
