Small penises have feelings too.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
