We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
