He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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