Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize