Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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