***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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