drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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