i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
how drunk are you?
Several
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
