I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
