Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
