Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
