no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
