so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
