Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
