I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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