so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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