we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
