just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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