Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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