Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the day after is always just damage control
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
