it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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