I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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