dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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