Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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