Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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