6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
please come you make the beer taste better
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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