Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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